The Calm after the Storm

The quiet moments of closure are often where we learn most about each other. 

This week has been one of those weeks of wonderful fellowship with family, friends & acquaintances. Amongst varied discussions & stories shared were travel & adventure, pushing personal boundaries, work demands and of course, “raising adults” – parenthood.

Whilst we shed tears, laughed hysterically, nodded frantically, shared frustrations, swapped methods & tips of how to circumnavigate parenting situations, I realise we didn’t speak about the less exciting and dramatic aspect – that of closure & learning.

The most wonderful times I’ve shared in building relationships are during the calm after the storm, the de-briefing, the closure, the post mortem of what initially seemed like an act of astonishing bad judgement or uncharacteristic behaviour on the part of either our children or ourselves.

I love having this opportunity to delve deeper into the “why”. I sit and listen. Sometimes we huddle together in embrace, faces still wet, hearts still pounding, emotions still heightened. At other times, physically from a distance as if we are discussing a case and not ourselves, speaking in third person & discussing hypotheticals & playing out different scenarios. We exchange without judgement, without ego. And we may agree to disagree, apologise for “jumping the gun” or accept consequences gracefully.

The outcome seems so much less important at this moment. We understand each other and ourselves, just that little bit better. We celebrate our individuality and mutual respect.

My patience has been trained to wait for this golden moment – hours, days, weeks or sometimes months after. I observe. I self reflect. I wait.

I’m often asked, “…when will you return to work ?”. I have one and I choose every day to be employed in it. I am still learning “on the job”. These are the unscheduled 360 degree feedback sessions and if I am lucky, happens more often than once a year.

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